In 2023, I was involved in a group research project as part of my Honours requirement. After hours and hours of research into the experience of menopause across South Africa and the globe, I realised something startling, women’s health needs are still being ignored and overlooked.
Fast forward to 2025, and suddenly everything I read seems to be about menopause or perimenopause. Social media is flooded with advice, what to do, what not to do, what to eat, what to avoid. What happened in those two years?
Now there’s an overwhelming amount of information about perimenopause and menopause: hacks, habits, exercises, patches, diets, supplements, gels and creams. But how on earth are we supposed to know what’s right for us?
We have tiny social media influencers showing us how to get rid of our peri/menopausal bellies. Sometimes it is even men giving us advice on how to lose our middle age bulges! And don’t get me started on HRT, I feel like I’m in The Matrix: do I take the blue pill or the green pill? Do I go down that rabbit hole or stay “au natural”? It’s confusing, to say the least.
And that’s before we even factor in everything else that’s going on in midlife. You might be gifted a chronic condition for your 40th birthday. Your personal life is ramping up, your kids might be hormonal teenagers, your parents might be ageing or unwell, and on top of that, you’re working, running a household, and trying to be a caring partner.
It’s a lot. And now you also have a body that seems to have decided to play by a completely new set of rules, rules that change without warning.
And as if the transition itself wasn’t enough, we in midlife are constantly bombarded with products, tools, guides, and quick fixes, all trying to sell us something. It can feel like everyone is marketing at us rather than supporting us. No wonder so many of us are left feeling confused and exhausted.
Take me, for instance. I had been looking forward to my 40th birthday. I was ready to take on the world. I felt strong. Everyone around me was saying, “40 is the new 30!” But as soon as the calendar flipped over to my 40th year, it was as if a little internal timer went off, triggering all sorts of new experiences: intense anxiety, clothes that suddenly didn’t fit (even though nothing had changed with my diet or exercise), a lack of desire to socialise, and just a general sense of feeling off.
In my view, this is where medicine and lifestyle need to hold hands. Medicine can be a powerful tool to manage symptoms and give us clarity on what’s happening in our bodies. But lifestyle habits are where we have the power to influence how we feel every single day. Think of it like a team effort: medicine can address the root cause of some symptoms, hot flashes, mood swings, sleep disturbances, while lifestyle habits build resilience and long-term health. Strength training supports bone density, balanced meals help stabilise blood sugar, mindfulness reduces anxiety, and good sleep hygiene improves mood and energy. The combination is powerful, medicine can level the playing field, and healthy habits help us thrive on it.
But here’s the thing: there’s no one-size-fits-all solution. We are all different, and what works for one woman may not work for another.
For me, the first thing that helped was simply acknowledging that something felt different, and then going to my doctor. Now, I know not everyone has a positive experience with their medical professional. I was lucky, mine was understanding and recognised what was happening even before I fully did. If your medical professional is dismissive, keep looking. Ask around, do your research, and find someone who will listen. You are your own best health advocate.
Perimenopause and menopause aren’t just about physical changes, they bring emotional and mental challenges, too. We need space, compassion, and good information to navigate this chapter of our lives feeling supported, not overwhelmed.
So, what about you? What was your first surprise or realisation that made you think, “Oh, this must be perimenopause or menopause”?
Disclaimer: This is an opinion piece, and offers no medical advice.
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